My View of You: Victim 3

Look Twice

"You only get one chance at first impression."
In some cases, I see the value in this statement, but consistency over time means more to me than any first impression! My rule of thumb is: take a first impression at face value but, find the consistency afterwards.

In the 6th grade, I transitioned out of Christian school into the public school system. Classes were easy because the previous school moved at a faster pace. Socially, however, this now-loud-mouthed extrovert, was painfully shy. I dreaded physical education class; being chosen close to last for teams was frustrating. I did not know anyone; no one knew me.  All my peers simply assumed I must be from one of the other elementary schools. Those first couple months were lonely, and I hated it. One day in the locker room, some of the rough girls were playing around bumping into one another. One of them slammed into me. Let's just say the Law of Relativity happened despite my attempt to be invisible. I hit the floor, outweighed by at least 10 pounds.

There were a few giggles, but the serious face and concerned brown eyes of Natalie appeared out of the crowd. She was sitting on a locker room bench surrounded by friends. (We had not previously met.) She got up, asked if I was okay as she helped me up, and immediately turned to the girls horse-playing (who were also bigger than her!) and mincing no words said, "Hey! Y'all need to be more careful!"

The girls muttered apologies and shrugged off the whole encounter. (Thank goodness! They could have pounded us both into the ground.) That's my friend Natalie - she has grit. We've been friends ever since. The funny thing is, she didn't remember how or when we became friends. She couldn't recall my locker room story! Why? Because that is normal behavior for Natalie. That is why it never stood out to her.  (I tell that story every chance I get!)

Roughly 17 years, later I was leaving Montana for North Carolina by car. My family had just experienced the tragic, unexpected death of my uncle right before Christmas. I was still days away, unable to be with my family who was reeling from the loss. The funeral services couldn't wait. One night from a hotel room, somewhere in Wyoming, I called home to check on my family.  I was updated on loved ones and the service was described... this stood out: "Natalie was there."

As word of the loss spread back home, I had the love and support through phone calls and texts from many friends. I am grateful for everyone one of those, but it did not occur to me that any of them would go to the services. I will never forget the fact that Natalie "stood in for me" so to speak. She went and hugged my hurting family when I was physically unable do it myself. In the midst of working two jobs; she made the time to do the uncomfortable & selfless acts that strengthen friendship. Again, she never told me she was there. I consider myself lucky to have been pushed down in the locker room so many years ago, because that event brought me a quality friend for life.  She is a friend who pulls through during tough, uncomfortable, inconvenient times! My first impression of her was right, her consistency has proven even more valuable.

Natalie is serious by nature. I maintain that she feels things so deeply you don't see the evidence on the surface.  She has always known exactly what she wanted in life. She has always had a plan and enough discipline to execute and see it through, alone.  She is independent and pretty self-sufficient. Combine all those descriptors and you will understand that Natalie can be misjudged if you only look at her on the surface. I would encourage you to look twice. You see, the truth is she doesn't need you, but she will choose you because she cares. I believe that is the highest compliment; to be someone's choice as opposed to them needing you. She isn't carefree all the time, but she is very caring.

Natalie is dependable and requires that trait in her friendships and other relationships. Her close circles are comprised of people lucky enough to see her unguarded. She jokes around, but she is steady. She is the best of both worlds. So today I wanted to show you the friend I know. This image doesn't show a different side of her, but rather the depth of her I mentioned before. After all, I don't believe people have sides;  it is really a matter of how deeply you are able to see.