Sunday, July 14, 2013

Where's My Gun?!





As a wedding photographer, at the end of a big day you will have no energy left if you have done your job.  A wedding day requires your mind and body.  You must utilize both hemispheres of the brain; be analytical, organized, observant, creative, emotionally connected from behind the camera, etc  My boss, Doug, says he reserves enough energy to drive home.  I reserve enough to make sure he doesn't fall asleep at the wheel, by telling him stories and sometimes he turns on the radio in the middle of them. It makes me laugh.  Last night was no different.  It was a great wedding.  We headed home around 10 pm.
My boss and his wonderful wife, Stana house me when I am in Montana.  Stana had to make an overnight trip to Missoula to check on her mom.  Doug and I hit the back door tired and went separate ways without saying a word.  I headed to my room downstairs and closed the door; happy to see my giant comfie, bed.  It is difficult to fall sleep after a wedding. You have to slow down the mind.  So whether it be half of a movie or some reading; my required routine is somewhat the same.  I chose a book.  When the words started sliding around on the page, I cut off the lamp and went to sleep.  The last thing I heard was Doug upstairs getting some cereal.
At some point in the night, noise from above drug me from a deep sleep.  I assumed Doug must not be sleeping well without Stana at home.  I grabbed my phone to check the time; a little aggravated at being woken up at 4:30 AM.  The loud noises continued.  I got out of bed and listened.  Something wasn't right. Then a loud boom of something hitting the floor upstairs shifted my awareness.

Three scenarios played out in my mind:
1. Doug is unaware of how loud he was and then fell in the kitchen.  "Crap! Is helping him up in my job description?"....Probably; in fine print of course. :)
2. Intruder. Doug must have suffered a head injury because no one could sleep through this!
3. BEAR! -"Where is my gun!?"

Doug and Stana suggested I sleep with my windows closed in September and October because of black bears coming through the neighborhood.  But the doors have been left opened lately to let in cool air.

I grabbed my large pocket knife and pink pepper spray.  It would only make a bear sneeze -ONCE- then it would come for blood. However, I couldn't go with just a knife.  Besides, if it was an intruder, I was gonna empty the can on their tail for dragging me out of bed at 4:30 AM!  Either way, it was MAN OR BEAST vs. BECCA.  I took a deep breath and eased open my door, "armed." Sort of.  This was the epitome of "taking a knife to a gun fight."

This decision to investigate and confront was nothing new.  There has never been a, "Honey, I heard something," situation.  My life requires a different response to something like this.   In college, I lived with 3 other girls in a townhouse apartment. It was the youngest & shortest girl that cautiously, went down the stairs in pink satin shorts with a death grip on her baseball bat. The other girls followed behind me.

I know if an intruder is in your home, it is best to leave the lights off.  However, I needed the overhead light.  I would rather have a full frontal man attack vs being taken from behind by some unseen animal that CAN see me in the dark.  I  silently climbed the stairs to the first landing and hit the switch; flooding the house in light.  My eyes tried to adjust as I saw a flash of dark fur bolt from the kitchen down the hallway.

It was in that moment that the "fight" overtook my "flight." One word came out a growl.
"GIT!!!"
It was a little embarrassing. I'm glad I was alone.  My grandparents used to shout "GIT!" at wild dogs that would come on their property when I was outside playing as a kid.  I never knew that under the right circumstances it would come out of me!  What does it even mean!?  How did I speak at all?!?!?!  I was mentally preparing to chase a bear out of the house for heaven sakes! The guilty party was moving so fast I still don't know what type of animal it was.  One thing was for sure we scared each other to high heaven.

I looked down at my opened knife and pink pepper spray still in my hands. I checked the kitchen and cleaned up the mess.   I turned off the light and headed back downstairs.  Laying my "weapons" on the nightstand I realize 3 things climbing into bed.

1. I remembered where my gun was.

2. WHAT WAS I THINKING!? I was going to take on a potential bear with HUMAN pepper spray and a large pocket knife!  Who did I think I was- "Tristan," the bear wrestling guy (played by Brad Pitt) in Legends of the Fall?!  Good grief. I didn't seem to be worried about it being a person.

3. I chuckled because I was so grouchy and I assumed Doug slept through the WHOLE scenario. I definitely wasn't going to check.  I sighed.  Well there was the silver lining- Doug didn't fall out in the kitchen.  Which is good.  We have 3 more weddings in the next 2 weekends!  I don't want to do those alone.  I'd rather face "the bear."