When I was a kid, my parents took our family to the circus. The play-it-safe clowns could not hold my attention, but the acrobats were among my favorite acts. I now understand it was the adrenaline I experienced watching them that made them a favorite. I thought the acrobats were fearless. I wanted to be that free. I grew up thinking that fearless people existed. The opposite is true. Everyone has fears. What I used to see as fearless people are in fact fear-seekers. To face fears you have to identify those fears and choose your response: play it safe, live on the edge, fight or flight.
Recklessness is not something I admire, courage is. Recklessness is fear-filled actions masquerading as the absence of fear. Recklessness is behavior executed immaturely without regard of the consequences. Courage is raw assessment, acknowledgement of possible outcomes, and having the wisdom to make the right choice based on ability and the situation. Courage is facing your fears, knowing your limits, and making a choice.
This brings me to Ashley. Ashley can make me laugh in almost any situation. Her brutal truth and facial expressions coupled with my sarcasm got us verbally reprimanded numerous times through school. She is quick to tell a funny story and has no problem laughing at herself if the occasion arises. It usually does.
She will reveal with blunt honesty that she is afraid of a few things. Today, I choose 2 of her fears to focus on: mascots and ferris wheels. It is not possible to quantify an emotion: love, pain, joy, or fear.
Since fear can not be measured, it can not be deemed valid or considered senseless. It is the choice that follows that makes the difference in life.
Mark Twain said, "Courage isn't the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it." Now a person visiting Disney World is usually just taking a vacation. In my mind, for Ashely, this has to be the equivalent of an aqua phobic visiting an aquarium. Surprisingly enough it is one of Ashley's favorite places. Please note there are people in "giant mouse" suits among other "mascot" type costumes! And yet she goes, dragging her husband along. I suspect she takes him in case she needs a body to push at any covered character that ventures too close to her. She loves the thrill of all the rides, the food, and some part of me thinks she secretly likes the thrill of running from the employees. Adrenaline is adrenaline. Some people jump out of planes, but my friend likes to run from cartoon characters. Fear is faced in both scenarios I guess.
For our college graduation Ashley, Natalie (whom you met in the previous post), Julia (who you will meet later), and yours truly went to California to celebrate. While there, in true friend fashion, Ashley's skittish antics kept me laughing. We each chose a place to eat. I chose Rainforest Cafe for my turn. It was complete with a mechanized gorilla near our table that would come alive in the rain storms to move and grunt. Ashley would jump in her seat every time and have to look away until the storm passed and the animals were still again. I laughed to my breaking point. She never complained, whined, or pouted. She endured, finished her food, and had the experience.
Lastly, you can't go to the Santa Monica pier without riding the Ferris wheel. In this case we didn't know Ashley hated Ferris Wheels. She rides roller coasters like a champ! Again, you don't have to understand someone's fear. You just have to be aware and let them decide what they need to do. I saw the determination in her face. This may be the only time in our lives that all 4 of us would go to California together -just us. She got on the Ferris wheel that day with no coercion from us. She rode it with a death grip on the seat and looked out over the Pacific Ocean. The point is, she did it.
These experiences are what comes to my mind first when I think of Ashley. You see, she may be my fun, fraidy-cat friend, but she doesn't let her fears stop her from experiencing anything in life and having a great story to tell. She may have fears like everyone else, but she has courage along with them. She acts in spite of fear. I cannot respect recklessness or paralysis as responses to fear. But I can admire and applaud Ashley.
